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Stereotype much?


According to some people’s beliefs the Prisoner wife/ girl is :

Unattractive,Desperate
on welfare,a hood rat
has low self-esteem
low income, no education
lives in a trailer or housing projects
has substance abuse issues.

Not only do people look at us as though we are dum, but they also treat us as if we were criminals. This is all without knowing any of us of the facts behind things.I know im not the bomb but definitely a firecracker I have a degree and managed a 4.0. in college.  Low self-esteem every now and then we all go through it. I remember when my son was 2 yrs old my friend  told me to stay on my birth control because if he got more than 2  years she was sure that I would fool around  with someone else until he came home. Six years later I am still here.I must say that I go out of my way to not perpetuate the stereotype. When I visit, I make sure  I am well-dressed, address the CO’s respectfully and go out of my way to abide by the rules.

Some men in jail do use their girls and the girl probably knows this and loves him anyway. Some Men that are free on the streets use woman also. Some men on the streets could never amount to the man I have~!~

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.


Despite all the things I have been through in my life, I will continue to hold my head up high and move on. Because I’m a survivor not a victim.

Should they be set free?


Sometimes when people are young they do dum stuff. Some times a fight leads to someone being accidentally killed . Here is a real scenario. I will call him Sin he is a good-looking male 38 years old. When he was 18 he had  a fist fight, the guy was messing him up so Sin took the guy and banged his head on the concrete twice killing him. Instead of manslaughter he had a murder charge 25 to life . He swears he never even though of killing he never thought he was gonna get killed either. It was a fight that went so wrong. Sin been in jail all these years for a mistake he made. Should he be free? The victim’s family lost a son also, I wonder if they ever feel guilty what if it really was a mistake people fight things go wrong. Two families lost a son.

Scenario two… I will call him Joey. When he was 19 he robbed someone , the person fought back with a knife, Joey took the knife and stabbed the guy killing him. Joey never had a knife on him he just wanted to rob the guy and buy some heroin. He was strung out and messed with the wrong person. He had some minor tickets in prison nothing major. He was sentenced to 20 to life he is going on his 23rd year.

Scenario 3 must read the book …Case of a lifetime

This is the story of a woman convicted of a crime she did not commit. It is also the story of a dedicated criminal defense lawyer who offers a real-life look at the American justice system. Smith (dir., Criminal Justice Clinic & law, Georgetown Univ. Law Sch.) was a law student interested in criminal defense when she met Patsy Kelly Jarrett, a North Carolina woman convicted as an accomplice in the 1973 murder of a gas station attendant in Sherrill, NY. Smith spent more than 20 years working pro bono to prove that her client was innocent and was nowhere near the scene of the crime when it occurred. While telling the story of Patsy Kelly Jarrett, Smith also tells the story of her own career, describing what it is like to defend clients accused of crimes and offering surprising details about the inner workings of a prison. The author also tells a personal story of how Patsy Kelly Jarrett became part of her life. The facts of Jarrett’s conviction on a questionable eyewitness identification are frightening, yet this book is also touching and even funny. Ultimately, the story of Jarrett’s parole from prison in 2005 after serving 28 years is profoundly moving.

 

Scenario 4 another good book 44 years !!! Really???http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126217412

a new memoir, In the Place of Justice, Rideau describes his years in incarceration in great detail, including how he became rehabilitated — and how he practiced serious journalism within the prison walls. He tells Terry Gross that when he started writing forThe Angolite in 1975, he had no way of knowing how powerful his magazine would become outside the prison’s walls.

 

MY DAUGHTER’S FATHER WAS SENTENCED TO 100 YRS FOR SELLING DRUGS REALLY????Even though I remarried he is still my friend……..13 years and counting

All I ever wanted or so I thought !!


Ok so we had a crazy relationship ups and downs and then you got locked up . All I really wanted was to prove to your family I wasn’t as bad as you made me seem, all I wanted was to prove to your friends I am a good woman, all I wanted was some fucking recognition for dealing with you on the streets all them fucking years ! All I got was rejection ! I was called names meanwhile I was the only one doing for you on the outside and now on the inside. Dam I really wanted your mom to Love me to tell me it will be ok to hold me and to share our love for you in a special way, but she hated me. Probably still does too bad I no longer give a fuck ! I wanted your family to love our kids , to be there for us while you were gone and all they did was talk shit and show what low lives they really where. Funny how you spent OUR money on your family, your friends your hoes……..Where are they now lol….Gone !! only me the one you gave the least to ! But because I believe in you, I believe in us I believe in Love and I will give us another chance. I will NEVER ask you to kick your fam to the curb what I will ask you is to NEVER let them try to knock me cause for the past 6 fucking yrs only one sibling really showed love not mentioning any names !!!.. I aint telling you to forget them but I do beg you never to forget me, I was the one out here dealing with their maliciousness the one out here getting rejected. My kids?? really??? how can your family not love them, they are BLOOD !!!! they are ours… But you know what all i ever really wanted was to be a part of you a part of your family LOL ><>>>real loud cause now to me they aint SHIT !!! Come one I am doing all this for you and they don’t acknowledge me who needs people like that?  I am an amazing woman remember not just anyone can do a bid it  takes a strong person to go through all the bullshit…………

Excerpt from a page in my Diary(yea I keep one)<3Homeless .


August 19, 2008

Shit where did it go wrong ? I failed as a mother. We landed from Puerto Rico Friday , went on my trailer visit and drove all the way to NYC and we had nowhere to go. I decided to stay with an old friend. The second day my son climb the walls in her house (adhd) she has no kids so we had to leave . We got up early this morning and made our way the Bronx. Still have this dam rental car  must return asap! My son broke my heart today he said I wanna go home, I almost cried but I remained strong . Home? we don’t have a home. All I can tell my children be strong, God is good we will be ok. After 10 hrs in that hell hole they send us to a motel, not to shabby here. AC and a small tv and a stove . They will leave me here to see if I qualify to live in the shelter, well wtf where else can I go? I need a job but looks like all the appointments this system  gave me I won’t have time this week. I won’t panic, Dam I am Homeless. I have lost everything I am so Mad at my dam Husband, so mad he didn’t care enough to live the right life. So mad at him ! So so mad. Can’t wait until I send his ass to hell so he could see what it feels like. This is so embarrassing I had it all last year but like they say the sun can’t always shine, putting my big girl panties on and gonna dig us out this hole.

RULES I LIVE BY….


1. A real Woman avoids drama, she knows her time is precious and she’s not wasting it on unimportant people

2. If he loves you, he will show it. No need for you to go over and beyond. Love should be simple

3.Don’t place your happiness in someone else’s hands, because once they disappear, so does your happiness

4.The true beauty of a woman is her ability to make a man better in every way

5. While you’re hating your life just because you can’t get what you want, someone is praying to have a life like yours.

6. One thing you have to learn in life is that sometimes it’s best to just sit down and shut up.

7.When someone in your family is going through a divorce, always side with the blood relative.

8. Trying to “teach someone a lesson”never works.

9.. When choosing a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party, spend between 20 and 25 dollars. That’s for a bottle, not a gallon.

10.The way a man looks, acts, and talks says nothing about how good she is in bed.

11. Never get into a pissing match via e-mail. If they forwards, you lose.

12..   You fail only if you quit

13. If he doesn’t call you after a week , MOVE on

14. If he loves you, you will know

15. Never have sex on the first date, men love a challenge\

16. If he is in jail he will be a sweet talker make him bring all that good shit home, be a good woman and make him the man he could be.

17. Live in the present moment, take things one day at a time.

18.Always find something to be grateful for

19.Don’t procrastinate

20. If you’re in laws hate you fuck them eventually his love for you will shine through and they will have no choice but to accept you!

My First Conjugal visit( FRP) rated R.


I have to admit had it not been for our 3 years of conjugal visits , I may have strayed a little. Going that long without sex will probably kill me, Love is Love but sex is sex.. Anyway I didn’t stray and  my trailer visits were quite amazing. When my husband was home he was a selfish lover, did his deed and went about  his business, fortunatly we did the deed every damn day ! Wouldn’t mind that now. He was young when we started  I was 7 years older , he was nervous, I was A Cougar. We made it work though  I taught him a thing or two, although if you ask him he will tell you different.

I married  4 years before he went to prison, so setting up our first conjugal wasn’t too hard. He was sent Upstate to a prison that didn’t offer trailers. He was quick and found a Prison that did offer congugals. We were so excited. Finally after over a year I was gonna get me some. We did all the paper work and everything went pretty quick. They send a Priest over to the house to check out the marriage license and make sure it was a real marriage. Then we got the date. The whole process took less than 6 months

Time to get beautified. Wax. hair, eyebrows, hooker outfit(conjugal officers are lenient with the dress code) Lingerie, heels the works..I came as a red-head boy was he open, soon as I walked in we went straight to the bathroom and had a quickie. Of course our kids were there so we had to  say we needed a smoke in the bathroom. The drive was 8 hours I was exhausted and a little before 9pm the kids felt it to, they were fast asleep. Our little cabin consisted of 3 bedrooms, kitchen ,bathroom and living room. We always slept in  the living rom because the correction officers have to call for the count and we didn’t want to miss the call. We made love that night like never before, he must have read some g spot book! Dam we made magic that night . He definitely stepped his game up. We didn’t get to bed until 4 am.

I am responsible for bringing in all the food, drinks, soap, shampoo  for the 3 days and two nights we will be locked inside the prison walls. It was a little scary staying in a cabin in the middle of the woods. We woke up early Saturday morning and he made breakfast. After, he took the kids out to play and somehow my son caught what we believed to be poison ivy. Shit we had no idea what it was we called the officer in charge and he said if we decided to go to the hospital we had to end the visit. We decided the hives didn’t look to bad  and  gave him Benadryl. He cleared up quick maybe it was an allergic reaction??? That afternoon  My hubby barbecued pork chops and shrimps on the grill outside in our mini yard. We were like family again. It was Amazing, He did all the cooking and cleaning too. At the end of the night we ran out of drinks, shit tap water in Upstate NY will probably give us the shits. Thank goodness we traded some cigarettes with the next door neighbors and we survived the night.

Sunday morning was horrible, I was sore, I was tired, I was SAD! I was leaving him. The impact it had on the children was devastating. I wasn’t prepared for it. I had to be strong for them though. My son was  4 years  old screaming “please don’t go again Daddy. Promise the cops you will be good” He was crushed . My daughter, which he raised since she was two just  put her head on his chest and told him” Daddy please be good, my other dad has life in prison and we need you” It took all we had to be strong and I explained “consequences ” to them , they didn’t understand it then but I am sure years later they did. This alone made me want to leave him and never return so my kids can forget him out f sight out of mind. But all it did was give me a reason to come back , a reason to wait for this man. He had a bond with the kids that made me love him even more and the sex was getting better. He lucky he aint do that shit when he was home cause I would have wondered where they do that at?

I hate the department of corrections and their crazy rules and their lack of rehabilitation but I am glad they have FRP’s. Our marriage has survived the 6 years he was away with GOD’s Blessing we will live happy together Forever and a Day!

My Favorite Jail/ prison related songs …Feel free to add


1. Lyfe Jennings Must be Nice .   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkpN3uiZ-Ew&ob=av3e

2. You’re all I need Mary J. Method man ..  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEfkdnx1zUs

3. Ja Rule Put it on me .   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSD_2B5-8RA

4. Ja Rule down ass chick ..  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ny-il7Cy8A&feature=related

5. Alicia Keys If I ain’t got you .   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwqATxdxZjA

6. Locked up .    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14PgWitIbSk&ob=av2e

7.  Emeli Sande Daddy …  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAnIfqF-Mu8

8. Rihanna. We found love..  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg&ob=av2e

9. Jason Myers Lucky.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJwdvNm8ieU&ob=av2n

10. Joe Budden Ordinary love pt. 1.2. 3  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW8TLBu_Bwk

11. T.I  Got your back ..  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk2yOxTuLck

12. Mary j. Drake  Mr Wrong    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTnqvkFwxJg

13. Beyonce / JZ Bonnie and Clyde  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=copiznIfV3E

14. 50 CENT 21 questions   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDMhlvbOFaM&ob=av2e

15. Ja rule daddy little baby .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsp4gQomUGw

16. Tupac, Dear Mama   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb1ZvUDvLDY&ob=av2e

17.  Lonestar. Already there  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jm5gfuT9Z4&ob=av2e

18. Britney Criminal   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-ULQJ4eRMM